LOVE AND RESPECT
Marriages of Christ-followers are under attack like never before, because a Christ-centered marriage is one of the most powerful weapons of war against Satan and his demons who seek to conquer earth and all who live on this planet. We must fight this battle with weapons of mass destruction, lest we become the Twin Towers. It does not matter which building got attacked first. They both came crashing down to nothingness and ceased to exist.
LOVE AND RESPECT: THE TWIN TOWERS
Dear Lord Jesus, you have provided excellent teaching on the subject of marriage. Please help us today to learn what you have to say to LEADERS in ministry and in business, about your desires for us.
My child, from much I have given, much is expected. I want leaders to set examples and lead at home as well as in their external activities. If a leader does not lead well at home, then their external ministry and leadership is under assault. It is just a matter of time before everything burns to the ground. Here is your scripture for today: “However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” Ephesians 5:33 (NIV).
Dear Jesus, what you are teaching me and my fellows is that:
• There are two essential elements that form the bedrock of any thriving marriage.
• They are: LOVE and RESPECT.
• Husbands must love their wives; that is a wife’s deepest need.
• Wives must respect their husbands; that is the husband’s deepest need.
• These two principles are KEY to a harmonious, Christ-led marriage.
Dear child, there is a vicious cycle and a wonderful cycle. The vicious cycle of “if you don’t give me what I need, I won’t give you what you need” versus the wonderful cycle of “I will give you what you need even if you don’t give me what I need.” I am calling my married Christ followers to turn the other cheek, and give each other what is needed. I am not talking about physically abusive marriages. That is a crime and the person being abusive should be in jail.
Dear Jesus, what about emotionally abusive situations?
Child, my Word is clear. Any emotional abuse is sinful behavior and must be repented of. The person being abused emotionally has many options. Staying silent is not one of them.
Thank you for that teaching Lord. There is quiet abuse that many are perpetuating, and it is said to be as damaging as physical abuse, or even more so at times. It can be a slow torture.
Yes, my child, and the person being abused emotionally must get help. There needs to be an intervention by the elders of the church. But today, let’s focus on your marriage, and others, that have the occasional strife. Here is what to know: My Word is clear.
Lord, I will seek to distill it down, here, for all:
FOR HUSBANDS
The call to love our wives is a divine instruction deeply embedded in the scriptures. Ephesians 5:25 says, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (NIV). This love is not merely an emotion but an act of will, demonstrating self-sacrifice and understanding. It communicates value, worth, and affirms our wives’ unique role and contribution to the relationship. She wants to feel highly valued, and will not feel that way unless she sees our love, in action.
Note to Husbands: Understand what this means by reading “The Five Love Languages : How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate” by Gary Chapman.
FOR WIVES
In the same vein, wives are called to respect their husbands. Ephesians 5:33 instructs, “However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband” (NIV). Respect communicates trust and admiration, acting as a reinforcement to the husband’s sense of worth and role in the relationship. It is the recognition of the husband’s strengths, capabilities, and contribution to the family. Husbands also need you to understand their love language.
Note to Wives: Understand what this means by reading “The Five Love Languages : How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate” by Gary Chapman.
LOVE AND RESPECT
Though the scriptures explicitly instruct husbands to love and wives to respect, it does not imply that husbands do not need respect or wives do not need love. Both love and respect are integral for each spouse. However, these instructions are reminders for us to prioritize the emotional needs of our partners and recognize what is most impactful to them. The marriage relationship is indeed a delicate dance, where love and respect flow interchangeably between partners. One partner’s expression of love often encourages respect from the other, and vice versa. When both elements are present and balanced, it creates an environment conducive to growth, understanding, and happiness.
Note to All: Understand that this means by reading: “Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs” by Rev. Emerson Egggerichs, Ph.D.
SUMMARY
Children, my Word is clear: “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8, NIV). Husbands and wives, love and respect each other as I love and respect you.
So, Lord Jesus, I will summarize what I believe are the key points:
SUMMARY FOR HUSBANDS
We need to lay down our lives for our wives, which means dying to our “rights.” We do not have a “right” to demand respect, and we are to look at ourselves and our behavior if we are not getting the respect we crave. What are we doing that is causing a lack of respect? We need to be strong in the face of perceived disrespect, and not over-react to the subtle forms of disrespect that we observe from our wives. These are warning signs that there are things in the way we are loving our wives that need to change and be fixed. Go to the cross of Christ. Ask God to fix your wife. You can’t. He can. Let him. “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” Ephesians 5:25 (NIV)
SUMMARY FOR WIVES
Respect forms an integral part of this equation, contributing significantly to a healthy, thriving marriage. If you are not being loved the way you yearn to be, look at your behavior and see where your respect for your husband may be lacking. This is an internal journey. Your negative attitudes, thoughts, and belief systems manifest themselves in subtle ways which are read by your husband as a lack of respect. Change your thinking, and go to the cross of Christ with your desires, asking God to fix your interior emotional condition. “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” 1 Peter 4:8 (NIV)
FOR BOTH HUSBANDS AND WIVES
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 (NIV)
CLOSING PRAYER
Thank you Lord for this inspiration to address this subject today. Help me and my fellows learn how to have the best possible marriages, by giving to each other the love and respect we receive from you Father God, Lord Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. Amen.
NOTE TO READERS
By weaving the threads of love and respect together, we not only strengthen our marriages but also reflect Christ’s divine intention for these beautiful unions. Love and respect are not merely responsibilities; they are gifts that we give and receive, illuminating the path towards a harmonious Christ-led marital journey. The essence of these scriptures reminds us that we are stewards of love and respect, and our marriages are the platforms where these virtues can truly shine to a hurting world filled with deeply troubled marriages. All in all, every marriage can benefit from the nurturing of these “twin towers.” May love and respect continually enrich your marriage, creating a sacred space of mutual support, admiration, and endless affection, in the name of Christ, and for His ultimate glory and honor.
Your aspiring servant,
Daniel M.
26 May 2023
POSTSCRIPT: Dear friends, if this daily, transparent conversation with God blesses you, please go to www.SOLIDpastors.org, where you will find these posted, and a repository of all, in English (Spanish is coming soon). If you ever want to chat, reach out at Daniel@SOLIDpastors.org. My Christ bless you richly as you have your own intimate, daily Conversations with God.
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